Autism, hope, help and useless governments

Yesterday, there was a piece in the news about a woman who dropped her 19 year old autistic son with the government and left. Oh how I feel for her! What a heartbreaking decision that must have been. She had no hope left. And no resources to give her any respite from it. I suppose she clings to hope that this will be a better situation for all of them. I am praying for her. And all the parents and caregivers who are at the end of their ropes. I'm voting for the NDP, because they promise more help than anyone else. And I'm writing to everyone who might be able to help.

Here in BC, the situation isn't much better once your child turns 19. There's no more autism funding. There's $905/mo in disability welfare, that you can use as you see fit (this is assuming the 19 year old is unable to manage his or her own money at all, like in the case above where he functions at the level of a two year old). Depending on the person's needs, that may not cover even a quarter of what is needed. It costs me and the government combined (my own cash + autism funding + respite + distance ed school disability grant) about $3500/mo for Crackle - my most seriously disabled child. When he turns 19, his needs will not change. But we will lose all but $905/mo of his funding. Here's hoping his needs change considerably by then!

Crackle has been particularly loud for a few weeks. The kind of loud that makes my eardrums throb by days end. Not exaggerating. Days like these are the ones that make me truly understand how someone could lose it and say "Enough. I cannot do this any more". But I have hope. And he's only 7. And he likes to cuddle with me in the morning. And he's learned to kiss me. Hugs me when I ask. And even when he's screaming, he's happy. I think.

Yesterday, the woman who spends 6 hours a day here quit. Gave 30 days notice. Eep. The day before, my strata voted for a $20,000 levy from each unit so that we can do major renovations. That's right. I have to come up with Twenty Thousand Dollars. By June 3. The whole summer will be filled with renovation noise. Crackle loses it when the gardener mows the laws. Or when the vacuum is running. So, we will have to go spend time in the forest. But... the SEA quit. EEP. And to top it all off, my ultrasound revealed that my already serious gallstone problem has developed into intrahepatic dilatation (the stones may be backing up into my liver) and so I'll probably need surgery sooner rather than later (or never, as I had planned). And now there's no one to help.

Furthermore, I promised Snap a trip to VidCon in August (already mostly paid for - non-refundable) and I'm going to the Son-Rise Maximum Impact class in October (already half paid for - non-refundable, but possibly delay-able).

So, if you're the praying sort, I could use a few prayers. I don't think that God just drops in loads of cash, but maybe God could nudge some help my way? Hint hint, Old Dude In the Sky! Or Pretty Lady in the Forest. Whatever you're calling yourself this week.

I still have my hope. But I'm rapidly running out of patience. :)

x-posted to Feminist Christian Socialist

Hope for the world

The events yesterday at the Boston Marathon were stunning. That someone could be so deliberately cruel breaks my brain. Naturally, some people are turning to prayer and some are turning to vengeance. I even saw a call for genocide, by someone who leaped to the conclusion that this was an act of Islamic terrorism, and to the further conclusion that somehow killing every one of them for the actions of a few would somehow be fair. And some people, who are neither religious nor genocidal are shaking their heads with sadness, and trying to somehow find something good in it (some of us religious people are doing that in addition to the prayer.)

All I've got is this: Good shines brighter than evil. And there is SO much more good in the world than evil. So so so much. It's really hard to remember that when we live in the time of 24 hour news, and violence leads. So many old folks tell me the world is going to hell, and it wasn't like this when they were young, but I look at the crime rates, and yes, it really was. They just didn't have CNN piping it into their living rooms telling them how bad everything is.

I have hope for the world. Look at how people come together in a crisis. I do hope that we'll learn to come together without a tragedy. It might take revolution. It might take an epic disaster. I hope not.

Prayers for healing

I was going to post something about the school shooting in my other blog, because I was having a hard time being remotely positive about it, and I want to fill this blog with love, not hatred. But I couldn't.

A deeply disturbed young man killed his parents, and about 26 other people, in one of the most beautiful places I've ever been (I was through there a few weeks ago). That's horrible. The survivors face so much grief.

I have a lot of hope for them. I am praying that they take this tragedy, and make it a defining event in their lives. Something that reminds them how precious life is, and how important every moment is. I am praying that they create peace for themselves again, and regain a sense of security that helps them through.

I'm praying for the shooter, the man so miserable that he could do such a horrible thing. May God have mercy on his soul.

I'm praying for the counselors, the police, the support people who will help all the people there. That they find inner strength, and create peace in themselves.

I'm praying for any remaining family members of the killer. His friends. The people who knew him when he was growing up. That they don't take on any guilt or regrets. Just learn from anything they might have missed or wish they'd done differently. Just learn. No judgments.

I'm praying for the American people. That they somehow come to understand that guns DO kill people. An unhinged man with a machete would have done a lot less damage. I hear so often, "This is not the time to make a political statement". But you know what, this is exactly the time. Because I'm not exploiting their deaths to get my political opinion across. Not at all. I care deeply about people, and very much want to prevent this kind of massacre from ever happening again. And that can't be done without restricting access to guns. It just can't. I know, I know, people love to say that criminals don't follow the rules anyway. But the people who do this kind of crime, they're not usually criminals until they do this kind of crime. They're not in gangs or part of mafias. They're ordinary people who snap. And if most ordinary people don't have easy access to guns if they snap, they won't have the weapons they need to pull off such a massacre. So my prayer is, "God, show people that in your dream for the world, there are no weapons. And show them how wonderful your dream is."

My final prayer is for healing. It encompasses everyone. I'm praying for healing for the hearts and souls of every single person affected by this. From the injured survivors right down to the person reading about it on the internet. Help us, God, to heal ourselves.